“…and hereafter she may suffer….”

“Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors and hereafter she may suffer, both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams.” -Bram Stoker, Dracula

I’m not one to admit when I fall short of perfect, at least not very easily.  It’s one of the things that would make me a great princess— I’m great at making it seem like everything’s great (why wouldn’t it be great?).

The last few weeks have been hard.

My beloved grandparents have quite literally taken turns being admitted and readmitted into various hospitals.

My beloved grandparents have quite literally taken turns being admitted and readmitted into various hospitals.

A good friend of mine lost his treasured dogs, to whom I was extremely close.

A good friend of mine lost his treasured dogs, to whom I was extremely close.

This little guy felt literally a world away.

This little guy felt like a world away.

I dealt (and am still dealing) with the craziness of moving into my new place.

I dealt (and am still dealing) with the craziness of moving into my new place.

I've stopped by the hospital myself (plus the pharmacy and my doctor's office) to deal with a myriad of health problems way beyond what anyone under 20 should be worrying about.  At least they gave me a princess sticker....

I’ve stopped by the hospital myself (plus the pharmacy and my doctor’s office) to deal with a myriad of health problems way beyond what anyone under 20 should be worrying about. At least they gave me a princess sticker….

Add in crazy amounts of stress, and my most recent hiatus will be explained.

Through it all, I’ve desperately wanted to update you all.  I’ve wanted little more than to sit down and write a blog post;  I’ve missed it like crazy.  One night, I wrote a lengthy journal entry and thought to myself, “Gee, I should have written some TO&E while I’m at it….”

Anxiety’s something I’ve long dealt with, but the depression that came along with this one was quite frankly crippling.  I couldn’t find the strength to do much more than work and sleep and the monotony only made it worse. “Sleep” became a few hours of restlessness with intermittent dreams that rivaled Rocky Horror and Plan 9 from Outer Space in their absurdity.  Try as I might, I couldn’t snap out of this one.

Finally, after more than a month, it’s getting a little better.  I long for the structured, yet social world of campus when school’s in session, but the light’s appeared at the end of the tunnel.  Finally, I can blog once again.

It’s good to be back.

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